A new addition to the empty nest

So I have to admit, I got my little Westie dog, Sydney, about two years before Suzannah was to leave for college. I knew that I wanted to get a Westie for a long time, I guess you could say that a Westie was my "dream dog". Let me tell you, she has not replaced Suzannah, but she has filled that void in our house with Suzannah gone to college. It is so wonderful to come home and she is so excited to see you and just loves you and she keeps me company when I am home and Paul is at work. So on to our new addition...

We were not even looking for Sydney a companion, but I was on Facebook and the Bay County Humane Society ad popped up and I clicked on it out of curiosity. Well the first picture I see is a picture of a Westie and you know I just had to check it out. He was so cute and needed a new home. I talked to Paul and just knew that he would say no, but he surprised me and said that we should check on it. I turned in the application to adopt him and believe it or not, it was a four page application, you might think that I was adopting a child. I was kind of glad though because it's their job to make sure that the dog goes to a good home. They go through all of the applications and they choose who they think would be best to adopt the pet. Well we were the lucky ones.

So once we were approved we had one more hurdle, we had to do a meet and greet with Sydney our little Westie girl. Well of course that was okay with me because I wanted to be sure that we were making the right choice and that they would get along okay. They hit it off and seemed to not bother each other. We decided to leave him there for two nights until we could take him home on Saturday and stay home for a day or so instead of leaving him the next day and going to work.

On Saturday, February 5th we picked up Toby the Westie(we have actually started calling him Toby Mac after the Christian musician). He was excited to see us, actually I think that he recognized me because I had been there to visit him everyday since I met him. Paul and I took him to straight to the vet. He jumped right in the truck and you could tell that he likes to ride in the car. He checked out with a clean bill of health and we headed home. Syndey just loved him right off the bat. She does not seem to be jealous and she just wants him to chase her and play all the time. Of course, he is about twice as big as her, weight wise, but he is very calm and very sweet. He really just wants alot of attention and he will sit in your lap or next to you as long as you will pet him.

So I guess you could say that our nest is empty when it comes to kids, but we have just added another Westie. They certainly cannot replace Suzannah in our house, but they sure are alot of company and they are always glad to see you when you come home, whether you have been gone all day to work or if you went out to get the mail and came right back in.

Suzannah can't wait to come home and meet her new "brother". Well we can't wait to see her either. We always enjoy a visit from Suzannah, but until then we will have to spoil the furry kids.

So here are Toby's before and after pictures, the one on the left is what he looked like when we got him and the one on the right is what he looks like after he was groomed. WOW - what a difference a bath makes!!!

Almost 1/2 way there!!

Well here we are, we have arrived at the beginning of the second semester of her second year at USF. It seems strange to think that she could graduate this spring. I am so proud of her she graduated high school with her AA already completed and now will finish at USF with two Bachelor's degrees.

I traveled with Suzannah back to school for the new semester, of course she thought it was crazy that I was willing to ride down with her and fly home. I guess I am never going to get comfortable with her making that trip back and forth by herself or even with company. It is a much bigger issue with me, it doesn't bother her at all. That's how it goes when they get grown. Things are usually a much bigger deal with me thatn with her. She is young and has the world by the tail and I am old have way to much experience in life.

As I left Tampa and drove to Orlando to catch my flight home I had an hour to reflect on how much things have changed over the last 19 years. The time has flown by and I look at my little girl and know that she is a young lady that I am so proud of.

So I arrive in Panama City hours later and once again I am home with Paul and our nest is empty. There are days when it is night time (that seems to be when I miss her the most)and all is quiet that I would like to sneak into her room and check on her sleeping peacefully like I always did. At this point in life, I have to be satisfied with Blackberry text messages and Skype visits. I should feel fortunate, at least it is not the pre-technology age and I have to wait for a letter in the mail.

Speaking of letters, I received a letter from USF earlier this week and was advised that Suzannah made the Dean's list for the past fall semester. You go Suz! Then a few days later we received a card from Suzannah in the mail. I was so excited, like a little kid that couldn't wait to open the mail. It was a card from Suzannah and it was the highlight of my day.

So as I close this blog note, I am counting down the days until Suzannah comes home for her birthday, as of this writing it is only 23 more days!! I am so excited that she is bringing Mike and Meghan home with her, unfortunately Melanie can't come. We will be celebrating Mike's birthday too, his birthday is 7 days after Suz's. I can't wait to have the nest full even if it is just for a weekend!!

Second Year Here We Come!! Go Bulls!!

As the summer came to an end, Mike came to visit for the week leading up to time for them to return to Tampa for school. It was a pleasure having him here, he is a great guy. It seems as though he had just arrived and it was time for them to head back to Tampa.

Of course, Paul & I had to go down with them, all of their things could not fit in Suzannah's car. We traveled down with them and helped moved them into their respective dorm rooms and once again it was time to say good bye! Of course, I am thinking to myself, "I have been here before and I know what to expect, this should be easier". WRONG! I cried again and missed her before I could get off campus. She is so full of life and so much fun to have around. So once again, Paul and I headed back to Panama City to our "empty nest".

Paul and I headed down to Tampa in November to leave from the Port of Tampa to take a four day cruise to Cozumel. Of course we went a day early and managed to take our "Pod children" out to dinner. Paul, Suzannah, Mike, Melanie and Meghan and I went to The Olive Garden for dinner and it was so neat to have dinner with them and hear about how the semester had been going. Melanie and Meghan will also be Suzannah's roommates next year. They have plans to move off campus Fall 2011. We enjoyed our visit and then met Mike and Suzannah the following day for lunch before heading to the cruise ship. While were gone Suzannah, Meghan and Melanie would hear whether or not they had been chosen to be in the Honors Fraternity Phi Sigma Pi.

We returned to Tampa to find that the girls, all three of them were chosen for Phi Sig. They also found a townhouse to rent next year and Suzannah needed me to sign the application. Paul and I went and toured the model and it was really nice, I am sure that they will be happy there. Once again, I am moved out of my comfort zone just thinking about Suzannah living out on her own.

You try and raise your children to be independent, stand on their own two feet, be good citizens, good people and to make good decisions. So why is it when they spread their wings and fly you are filled with mixed emotions. On one hand I thought, "Wow she is such an amazing young lady and I am so proud of her". On the other hand I was thinking "Where did my precious little Suzannah go?"

Suzannah flew home for Thanksgiving from Orlando and Iwas relieved that I did not have to worry through the 12 hour round trip from Tampa. It was so nice to have her home and get to spend some time with her.

Before we knew it Christmas vacation was upon us and she and Mike came home. Mike spent several days with us leading up to Christmas and we enjoyed having him visit. Suzannah and Mike decorated our tree for us. Even though I have an empty nest, it seems that I have plenty to do and it was so wonderful to come home and the tree was done. I think they enjoyed it too. Christmas came and went and once again I was getting used to having her home and she was spending time with her Gram.

Since Suzannah has flown the coop and Paul and I have attempted to get adjusted to our empty nest, it seems as though the time when she is gone goes by so slow and then when she is home it just flies by. I guess that makes the time we spend together even more special.

Summer After One Year Away At College

I will start this out by telling something I was told by a wise friend and one of Suzannah's favorite people, (Kris Palfrey, you know I am talking about you). Kris told me when I was so stressed and worried about Suzannah leaving for college that you miss them like crazy and can't wait for them to come that first summer and then it is several weeks and you think wow, when is she going back.

I guess you could say that even though you are sad while they are away, they come home and they have a new routine and they are used to doing things their own way and Paul and I had become accustomed to having the house to ourselves. It actually took some getting used to having her at home again. She had crazy hours, you know college kid hours, up all night and sleeping late until class, eating Taco Bell at 2am etc...

Well one week into her first summer home, she managed to drop her brand new Blackberry in the toliet and ruin it. A few days later she was rear ended two miles from home, after I worried sick about her driving in Tampa traffic and interstates.

So it was not long before we felt like things were back to "normal" whatever that might be. We were just kind of moving right along when my mom, Suzannah's Gram, had a large stroke and ended up in the hospital. Wow that's not how we had planned the summer. I spent all of my time when not at work helping to take care of my mom. As a testimony to how much Suzannah cares for and loves her Gram, she offered to not go back to school and take online classes. On one hand, I was so proud of her for being willing to sacrifice her college career for her Gram, but with that said, I had to tell her that as much as we could use her help, her Gram would never stand for that and that would mentally be a stumbling block for her Gram. My mom is so proud of Suzannah, she has invested so much time and love into my child, but I know she would never stand for Suzannah making such a sacrfice on her behalf. Needless to say, I cannot express how proud I was of Suzannah for thinking of her Gram before herself. We did not tell my Mom that Suzannah offered to do this for her because it would have upset her to no end.

The Second Semester

I have to say I was thankful that rugby was not in season the second semester. Although once a soccer mom, always a soccer mom and I had been to several of the Bay High Women's soccer games. That was such a large part of our lives when Suzannah was playing that it was crazy not to have a soccer schedule to adhere to.

I have to say that even though the nest at this point had been empty for one semester, it was still strange after she left and went back to college. I pretty much kept the door to her room shut because there was no need to have it open, no one was home. We didn't move or rearrange anything because we wanted her to always have her place.

In January she and Mike traveled to Panama City without Paul and I knowing and showed up for our SURPRISE 25th wedding anniversary party at The Green Room at the Martin Theater. My sister Karen hid them out at her house so that we wouldn't see them around town. What a wonderful surprise that was, a surprise anniversary party and Suzannah and Mike coming home. We then went on a cruise and took Suzannah and Mike with us.

The second semester seemed to go by a little bit faster and then before we knew it she was home again with Mike for her birthday. Wow how could my daughter be turning !!19!!. We took them out to PF Chang's in Destin and we celebrated both of their birthdays, you see they were born 7 days apart. Then it was good bye again. We/I did not visit USF as much the second semester, but it is not that I didn't want to.

Before we knew it. it was spring break and I was so thankful that she was home. Another few weeks went by and it was time for Suzannah to come home. Paul and I loaded up and went to move her home, I was so excited. She had everything packed and ready to go and she and Mike and two other friends split a storage unit and left some of their things in Tampa for the summer. I was so proud of her. We had lunch with Mike, his Dad, Suzannah and Sidney. I have to say that it was sad to see Mike and Suzannah part for the summer, but once again SKYPE to the rescue!!

And so we started our first summer after being away at college.....

The First Semester

Wow, was she busy that first semester. Busy getting to know how things work on campus, busy meeting new people, busy getting used to being on her own, I guess I could go on and on about her being busy. I guess a few of the highlights would be:

I made my first trip down to see her Labor Day weekend with my mom and my sister, Karen. I don't know who was happier to see her, my mom, my sister or me?? It was probably a toss up. She was a sight for sore eyes. I was so glad to see her. She was doing well, having fun and really happy. We met her best college guy friend, Mike, I thought to myself, what a nice kid.


A call about three weeks into the semester and Suzannah's excited voice at the end says "Hey Mom - guess what?" I'm playing RUGBY!!! Of course, my first thought was REALLY?? My next thought was wow, I was a really nervous soccer goalie mom, how in the world am I going to ever make it through Rugby when she is playing 6 hours away, what if she gets hurt? I can't begin to tell you how much she loved rugby. She said she was born to play rugby. I have never been so nervous in my life. I made her call me after every game to make sure she stayed in one piece. Not only was she playing rugby, but she was driving all over Florida (Boca Raton, Gainesville, Tallahassee etc.) Her Dad. myself and her aunts loaded up and went to see her play Rugby against FSU and it was just as bad as I had expected. I was almost unable to watch, not only does it look like it hurts, it sounds like it hurts!! I think the worst call she made to me was guess what mom?? "I scored in the game today AND" the and always gets you. "I have a black eye" WHAT????? She said that a girl got mad in the game a cold cocked her in the eye, my first action/comment I am not so proud of, it went like this" Did you hit her back?" her response was "No mom, the second person always gets caught, but I put her DOWN on the next play, LEGALLY, of course.
















Next came BEEFSTUDS - you may be wondering exactly what I wondered? What is that??

Well the Beefstuds are the crazy college kids that get dressed up for the football games in all of their paraphernalia. I have attached a picture for you to get the full effect. She was painted up and wore bull horns, it was amazing. It certainly didn't hurt that her best college guy friend, Mike was also beefstudding, I think they had a blast. She said getting the paint off was not so easy.



























Of course, how could I not mention her first drive home by herself. I must say that it was the longest 6 hours of my entire life. I had her stopping and calling/texting me every hour or two, she said "I can't even drive home for stopping and calling you" I have to admit I was a wreck. I told her to humor me, it didn't take 6 hours to bring her into this world and this was just about to stress me out. I was about as far out of my comfort zone as could possibly be.

Time came and went and Paul and I made a few trips down to see her. On one of the trips we took her and Mike out to dinner and I could tell they were up to something. Then finally Mike asked us if it would be okay for Suzannah to come to Baltimore to visit him over Christmas break, the pitch was that she could meet his family and also she had never been to Baltimore, he would show her around. I think they were surprised that we said okay, so I had to share her with her best friend for about 4 days over Christmas break, that would be okay.

Well she arrived home for Christmas and just a couple of weeks before, she and Mike became boyfriend/girlfriend, so now her best coolege guy friend was now her boyfriend. It was a regular skype date for them almost every night. I guess I wasn't the only one who was thankful for Skype. She made her trip to Bel Air, MD right after Christmas and they also made a trip to see Mike's grandma in New Jersey and spent a couple of days traveling back and forth into New York City.

Suzannah returned home and then it was time to say good bye again. I thought the more times I said good bye, it would get easier and it didn't.

She thoroughly enjoyed her first semester. I think that she learned more about being on her own and living away from home more than she learned academically. I guess you could say that the theme for me the first semester she was gone would be "getting out of my comfort zone" and let me tell you I was out of my comfort zone more than I was in it that first semester.

Wow! Time has flown by!!

I should have started this blog in August of 2009, but life has been really crazy. In August of 2009 my one and only child flew the coop for the first time. I guess that's why I chose to call this "A View From An Empty Nest".



Paul and I took Suzannah to Univ. of South Florida in August of 2009 not knowing what to expect. Paul and I did not attend college, so we were really in uncharted territory, much less taking our one and only to live 6 hours from home. To say it was traumatic is an understatement. We drove down on Tuesday of that week and starting moving things in that night. The next day was a whirlwind of activity. She was going to be dorming with her friend from high school, LindseyMorrow. I have to say that it was some consolation that the two of them would be together since they had known each other since they were 10 years old and playing soccer together and then went through high school together as well.



After two days of trips up and down in the elevator, hanging things, unpacking things and also quite a few trips to Target, we serioulsy dropped some cash there (us and Lindsey's parents too)

their room was ready and we felt okay about them having what they needed.



The first night that she slept there and Paul and I went to the hotel, I was so exhausted that it didn't bother me too much, of course I was still just down the road at the Courtyard. The very first day that they spent exploring campus and riding the "Bull Runner" they got on the wrong bus (a City bus, not a school transist bus) and ended up somewhere off campus. Lucky enough they called a friend and he came and rescued them. So needless to say I was thinking, how can I leave her in Tampa and go 6 hours home.



Well the time came the next day that Paul & I had to say good-bye, I kept it together until the very last moment when I knew that I this was the last time that I would get to her hug for at least several weeks. The minute she wrapped her arms around me I saw my little girl and the tears began to flow. Paul had to just about pry me away from her and I watched her through the tears until we turned the corner and I couldn't see her anymore. I can only say as I have many times, that it felt as if someone had reached into my chest and pulled out my heart as we drove off campus that day. It really didn't get any better after that. I cried from Tampa to Ocala, I would just about get myself together and then it would start all over again. I know Paul had to be wondering if it would be like this for the days and months to come.



I texted and talked to her everyday and just couldn't rest until I knew that she was in her dorm room for the night safe and sound. I would talk to her and then end up crying as soon as we hung up. Eventually things got better and I was able to realize that she was right where she needed to be. I kept telling myself that I was going to see her Labor Day weekend and I was counting the days.



I can't begin to say how much Skype has become a part of my life. If it weren't for that I can't imagine that I would have made many trips to Tampa, of course the first semester I did make my share. That's the next blog in this Empty Nest story.